So Much To Do, So Little Time!

We had a lively Wise Action discussion prompted by a question posed by one of the students which boils down to: How do I make time for everything I want to do in life?

We are a group of women of a certain age, who, having led busy lives between work and family, are now, for the most part, at a time in our lives when we are able to choose the things we really want to do. Most of us have a lighter load of the things we feel we have to do, thanks to retirement, an empty nest, husbands taking on a greater role around the house, etc. Of course, some of us have more responsibilities, taking care of loved ones who are ill, reaching out into the community, etc. But in general, we feel more empowered to choose our actions and activities.

Perhaps because women are inherently multi-taskers (to keep the toddler from drowning in the river while we gather berries and firewood), we often find that our thoughts during any activity include a little anxiety about something else we should be doing instead. This keeps us from being fully present in the moment to enjoy what we are doing and to do it well.

One way to bring full mindfulness to every activity is to organize our day as if we were on retreat. Vipassana meditation retreats are quite structured, which we might think would create limitations, but actually creates freedom. When it is time to sit, we simply sit, and don’t feel we should be elsewhere. Likewise, when we are doing a walking meditation, eating a meal, or resting.

Part of every retreat day is a designated period where we do our yogi job. This is a voluntary chore of cleaning or food preparation that helps keep the retreat running smoothly. During that period we do our work mindfully, noticing the arising of misguided motivations (‘This will be the cleanest shower anyone’s ever seen! I’ll be the best yogi ever!’ or ‘Why on earth did I pick this yogi job? I bet sweeping the terrace would be a lot better.’) We might notice unskillful effort: striving too hard with our thoughts only on the goal instead of living the activity; or sloughing off, doing the least we can ‘get away with.’

This sense of a yogi job, that we do to the best of our ability with mindfulness and wise effort for a set amount of time during the day, works very well for doing household chores, bookkeeping and errands. Without that boundary-setting of a limited time frame, we have a running To Do list in our heads that keeps us on a never ending treadmill of feeling we are not doing enough, when we may very well be doing too much.

One thing that several students and I found was that email and online activity gobbles up time in a way that is quite unnerving. I liken my circling round to check email as having the same addictive quality I have felt at times in my life when I have mindlessly circled round to the refrigerator. If it feels like an addiction, then we can either go cold turkey by not having this technology at all, or we can set limits.

Limits might be as simple as using a timer. Make a note of what we originally wanted to accomplish on the computer/smart phone beforehand, then do that first before opening email and getting off track. This sounds easier than it is in practice, but I am setting the challenge for myself to see if it can be done.

A Surfeit of Options

One student said she imagined that at this time of life she would have SO much time and yet she sees that she doesn't, that she has to pick the top three or four things she wants to do and let go of the rest.

When it comes to the surfeit of options we are so fortunate to have, we all expressed our great gratitude for the wondrous opportunities, but having stuff doesn’t create wisdom, so we can still be incredibly unskillful and cause ourselves suffering. How do we make wise choices?

How can we determine what we can let go of? What is beneficial and what is just filling time, or dragging us down? Try this exercise:

Bring to mind something you do during an average day or week.

Now ask the following questions:

- What is my intention with this action?

If you feel motivated by having something to prove rather than something to give, then this isn’t Wise Action. Remember Wise Intention is to be fully present with lovingkindness.

- Who am I doing this for?

Sometimes we get our signals crossed. We think we are doing something someone we love wants us to do. But our assumptions are not based in fact. Time to have a conversation!

- What benefits come from this action?

Make a list. and then ask:

- Is this true?

This is where the rich exploration really begins. When we question our assumptions we breathe new life into our actions.

- When I think about this action, what do I feel in my body?

If a lightness, a sense of enlivening, then I know that this action is nourishing me and no more needs to be explored. I have my answer. This action stays!

If there are any sensations of tightening, deadening, pressure, heaviness or dread, then ask:

- What are the thoughts that prompt these feelings?

- What are the fears I have about this activity?

Within each exploration, every time you make a statement, ask again, ‘Is this true?’

The result is an inner dialogue that effectively determines the value of the action. Then you can decide whether the activity is a valuable part of your life, or discover perhaps that you were doing it for the wrong reasons, or it no longer fits, etc. You can make adjustments to the activity, instilling it with Wise Intention and Wise Effort, or you can let that activity go.

- Is this my job to do, or is there someone else who could do it?

Sometimes we forget that there are other people in the world who might enjoy and appreciate the opportunity to do what it is we are doing. If we are able to hire someone to do a chore we find tiresome, certainly we are contributing to the economic well being of our community by doing so. If this is not financially feasible, hire yourself! What payment would you like? Equal time with a good book? A day at the beach? A walk with a friend? It’s yours!

If you find through this exploration that any of your activities are not Wise Action, then the wise course of action is to make a change in as mindful and compassionate a way as possible.

11/12/13 P.S. I just received a link to a post on TinyBuddha that totally fits into this discussion and offers more valuable questions we can ask ourselves when we are looking at all we have to do.

The Five Precepts Create Freedom

An exploration of Wise Action would be incomplete without a look at the Five Precepts, the vows we take at the beginning of a meditation retreat. These five vows are a part of a longer list of vows taken by monks and nuns. They prescribe wise action when living in community.

Depending on the teachers on the retreat, you might experience a call and response of the Precepts in the original Pali language. (You will not be expected to know them, just to repeat what the teacher chants. We did this in class and everyone agreed it was very easy.)  If you would like to hear how these Pali words are pronounced, here is a video of Ajahn Amaro at Spirit Rock leading the chant. The Five Precepts (in Pali and English)

1. Panatipata veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami
I vow to refrain from harming or killing living creatures.

2. Adinnadana veramani sikkhapadam samadiyamiI vow to refrain from taking that which is not freely given.

3. Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami
I vow to refrain from misusing sexuality.

4. Musavada veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami
I vow to refrain from false and harmful speech.

5. Suramerayamajja pamadatthana veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami
I vow to refrain from consuming intoxicants which lead to carelessness.

By taking these vows to refrain from unskillful actions we create freedom for others and thus freedom for ourselves. Freedom might not be the word we automatically think of when we promise not to do something. After all, haven’t we narrowed our options? Haven’t we limited our freedom? Well, let’s apply the question we asked last week to this enigma: What if everybody did it?

If everybody followed the Five Precepts, what would the world be like? We all would feel free from fear of being harmed by others. We would not feel we had to constantly protect ourselves and our property from those who would violate us in one way or another.

The retreat experience is an experiment in this level of trust. Together we create a sense of freedom within what from the outside looks like constraints. The more earnestly we follow the heart of the Precepts, the more freedom we find. If you doubt that the Precepts can create freedom, consider this: What do any of these precepts keep you from doing?

If you look at these things closely, these things you are reluctant to give up, you might see that the desire to do them comes from the murky mire of mindless motivations.

Let’s look at some examples.

• If I have the urge to hurt someone, if I want someone to suffer, what is my motivation?
• If I have the urge to steal something, what is my motivation?
• If I use my sexuality in a way to gain power over someone, what is my motivation?
• If I want to get drunk or high, what is my motivation?

These questions take us back to Wise Intention. If we are in the present moment and compassionate to ourselves and others, then we see clearly what’s really going on when we feel anger arising. We see the fear that creates the reactionary impulse.

These questions also bring us back to Wise Effort and to Wise View. If these terms are new to you, look back over the past months of posts and follow along. We have spent more than a year studying the Buddha’s Four Foundations of Mindfulness. 

We are nearing the end of this focus, but in fact there is no end to the experiential investigation of the dharma, because it lives on in our lives, and we are given so many opportunities to see it in action.

Wise Action, Well Planet

In the last dharma talk I offered a way to investigate whether an action we did was wise. Even the simple question of whether something is a wise action brings our attention to the present moment, modifying the impact of mindlessness, which is the chief cause of unskillful action.
The other cause is feeling disconnected, separate and therefore lacking in a sense of compassion, for ourselves and others. When we looked at Wise View, we saw why it is that we feel separate when in fact that sense of separateness is simply a convenient shorthand to get things done -- handy but if we buy into it too much, we cause suffering for ourselves and others. [Read more.] But we have other ways to investigate an action to see if it is wise. We can ask, ‘What if everyone did this?’ This challenges any sense of personal entitlement we might have mindlessly lurking in our murky motivations. If we can honestly answer that if everyone did this action there would be no negative outcome, then perhaps it is not so unskillful. Another question we might ask is what impact this action could have not just on our children or grandchildren but on down to the seventh generation of our descendants, a wise consideration imparted by native American traditions. Understanding the long term implications of our actions, even small ones, is increasingly important as our population increases and our resources are depleted. To a degree, we as a species have become more mindful, have taken steps to modify and correct our previously mindless behavior with recycling, composting, increases in alternative technologies, etc. But we are far from where we need to be in order to say we are doing our best.

  I am happy to say that the Buddhist community is increasingly committed to Wise Action in this regard. And this week, Buddhist meditation teachers have been asked to talk about the importance of environmental awareness to their students. How perfect when we are studying Wise Action!

Notice how this feels. What comes up in your thoughts? What happens in your body when I say this will be our topic. Is there an eagerness or a sense of unease? Whatever you are feeling, be compassionate. This is not a scolding, but an exploration of what is true and what, with mindfulness and balanced effort is possible. Take your time and answer these questions for yourself: To what degree does the well being of the air, water and land play a role in your daily decisions? If everyone did what you are doing, what kind of world would this be? This is such a great question because it speaks to our collective humanity, our community. It reminds us that we are not isolated. Yay! But also that everything we do has ramifications. How can we be conscious without becoming strident? How can we be in relationship with the earth and all beings who inhabit this planet in a way that is compassionate, caring, joyful and responsible. Can we do this without proselytizing and fueling an 'us against them' mentality that is so disruptive and counterproductive? We are not just all in this together; we are one pulsing energetic system of life! Try this practice right now: 

• Set the intentions to be present, anchored in physical sensation and to be compassionate with yourself and others. 
• Bring to mind your relationship with all beings and the earth itself. 
• Notice how this feels in the physical senses, if there is a sense of ease, discomfort or tightness arising.
• Practice some metta, lovingkindness: May I be well. May I be happy. May I be at ease. May I be at peace....See how that feels, this sense of giving and receiving lovingkindness. Then: May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. May all beings be at ease. May all beings be at peace.

Sit with the gifts of this simple practice, staying present with physical sensation, being compassionate when the mind tugs like a puppy on a leash, wanting to leap into the past or future. Simply come back to this moment, anchored in physical sensation. Rest in this place a bit, this natural relationship. If there is tightness, you might imagine a furry animal coming and nestling against that area, offering compassion, companionship and warmth, a sense of shared aliveness.

Coming into a tender heartfelt relationship with our planet and its inhabitants is a lovely gift. From that state, what is Wise Action? Do your actions or lack of action reflect your understanding? Or is there a disconnect?

This is where the Eightfold Path is so very useful. It helps us to see what that nagging discomfort is within us. Knowing this, we can take Wise Action, based in Wise Intention, Wise Effort, Wise View, Wise Mindfulness, attended by Wise Concentration. 

What would Wise Action be for you?
For me, I took my commitment to the well being of the planet to another level when I switched to Deep Green level of the Marin Clean Energy program. If you live in Marin County, CA and would like to know that your electric bill buys 100% wind power, rather than a combination of nuclear and other sources, it's easy to switch.
Again, if you live in Marin County, you might find the Green Up! page on the Marin Group Sierra Club website useful. (I am the volunteer website administrator, and that page is my baby. I am always interested in feedback on how to make it better, so please check it out.)